The Trials of Body Image

Like most women, I have an issue with how I view my body. There is this disconnect between how I feel I look, how I think I look, and how I actually look. Luckily, this isn't something that comes up on a daily basis. But once in awhile I catch myself getting a little depressed about it.

In my normal day-to-day life, I feel like I look like this:

 

 

 

Sexy!

However, I don't actually own any full-length mirrors. The only mirror in my house is the one in the bathroom, which pretty much only reflects my head down to my shoulders. As a result, when I occasionally find myself in front of a full-length mirror, I think I look like this:

Sometimes my outfits are this unfortunate too.

In reality, I know I am somewhere in between. I don't own a scale so I can't really rattle off my weight off the top of my head. The last time I was weighed, which was probably about two years ago, I weighed approximately 170 lbs. Since then, I started teaching Zumba classes twice a week. (I've recently upped that to four times a week.) Here is what I do know: a size 14 pair of jeans is a little too snug on me while a size 16  is pretty big. Of course, this is mostly because I still have a 'baby gut' from when I was pregnant. The 14 would fit my waist but not my hips. The 16 fits my hips but is huge around my waist. I wear the 16, which makes me feel thinner.

Closer to reality

What does this mean for my mental state? It means that, like a lot of women, once in awhile I have a "I'm so fat" breakdown. It doesn't happen often but it does happen. And when the day comes that I will, once again, fit into a size 10, I will loudly celebrate my achievement.

There is that bag of Doritos though....

Maybe I'll aim for really fitting into a size 14 first.